June 28 2006 - Thoughts on Bravery, or Not

I’ve had several of you say that you think I’m brave for plunging into life in a foreign country. I’ve tried to reply that I don’t feel brave, and don’t really think I AM brave, but somehow that’s not coming across. I think that you all don’t believe me!

Well, what is bravery anyway? For what I’m doing to be considered brave, I’d have to be scared, and then forging forward anyway. That’s the thing; I don’t feel scared here, or not very much anyway. So that’s why what I’m doing doesn’t seem brave to me.

Now, why DON’T I feel scared? I’m living in a foreign country where I don’t speak the language and don’t know a lot of the customs. I’m living in the biggest city I’ve ever lived in, using mass transit on a daily basis, and walking along crowded streets with very strange sights and smells. But, I don’t feel scared…hot, wet, tired and confused sometimes, but not frightened.

Here is why, I think anyway! First of all, by all accounts Hong Kong is a very safe city. The crime and murder rates are very low. You see little kids riding the MTR by themselves with confidence. You don’t see many homeless people or beggars, or mentally ill people on the streets. You get the occasional “hey lady! Lady!” in tourist areas, and you run into taxi drivers that can’t understand where you want to go, but I’ve yet to run into anyone that has yelled at me, or acted in a way I would consider at ALL scary. I had a lot more people be unfriendly in France, than I have so far here. Asians are going to be polite, come what may. They don’t like “bad scenes” or agitated human interactions. Now, you may get the occasional elbow in the ribs as people clamber on to the MTR or buzz across a busy street, and I’ve had more than one taxi honk at me, but that’s about as far as their hostility goes. They don’t like eye contact in public places, and that just seems to cut down on the aggression in human interactions.

Secondly, this is mostly very fun! I’m not working, my time is my own. I can do pretty much whatever I want. Wandering around Hong Kong is really cool. I see something new every time I venture out. There are so many little streets, and shops, and open air markets, so many people busily going on with their lives! There is always something interesting going on.

Thirdly, for me, this is a dream come true. Actually, it’s BEYOND a dream come true. Except for the past 10 years or so of our lives, I never imagined that I would get to live in Asia, not in my wildest dreams. So if we’re having our 10^th rainy day in a row, or I get lost, or I’m confused or worried that I might be getting ripped off in a market encounter, I figure this is all part of the adventure.

You know who I think are the brave ones? The western ladies I see with an infant in a snuggly, moving into an apartment half a world away from their family and friends. The western ladies I’ve met that REALLY don’t want to be doing this, but are bravely going forward and making the best of things for the sake of their husband’s career. The Chinese people I’ve met that I’ve gotten to talk to and start telling me about their families – most of them came from the mainland at one point or another and lived with their parents and siblings in one-room apartments. You know their parents came of age during the Cultural Revolution and that a lot of suffering took place, but they all seem so happy and content. The Fillipino maids, making more money than they could ever make in the Philippines. But living alone, far away from their families, sending them money, never seeing their children , working at menial jobs even though they have college degrees, living in a culture that looks down on them and generally treats them poorly. Now THERE are some brave people!

I’ve entered a new phase of my Cantonese education. Two things are going on. One is as I listen to conversations on the MTR, in stores, and on the street, I’m starting to be able to pick out some words. Sometimes I know what the words mean (and then it’s all I can do to not turn to that person and say “you just said xxx didn’t you!”), and sometimes the words sound familiar, but I can’t remember their meaning. The other thing that’s happening is that I’ll be doing something with a Chinese person (in a taxi, or a store, usually) and the word for what we’re doing will pop into my head. Like today at Yoga I bought a water bottle after class. The word for water is “sui”, so I asked the guy – “sui is water in Cantonese, right?” He corrected my pronunciation, but I basically had it. It’s exciting!